There are moments in life that nobody wants to prepare for. Having to say farewell to your own parents is such a moment, and on this sad occasion we are very grateful to you all for coming along today, sharing your love and support for a dear husband, brother, uncle, grandfather and father, Colin.

In looking back at his life, I want to start with the most recent couple of years, during which time he endured immense stress as sole carer for mum, following her strokes and subsequent dementia. Indeed, she is too ill to be here today. Dad carried on bravely, caring for her, doing everything that needed doing at home, contacting the different support agencies that became involved, and finding the strength to lift and carry mum on a daily basis, until it all got too much for him. For a man in his 80s to be giving so much to care for the wife he loved so dearly was a sign of his devotion to mum right to the last.

Dad’s early life was something we knew little about. He talked little of his working life, and it was only in recent years he had begun to open up and discuss his time in the army, something which had clearly brought him huge enjoyment. Amongst his ‘locked away’ personal belongings, we discovered pictures of him with his army pals, as well as pictures he proudly kept of his own father who died far too early, just after mum and dad were married in 1960.

Dad was born to drive. He took a role as a driver in the army, then after returning to civilian life he became a driver for Murex in Rainham (later part of the British Oxygen Company), firstly driving lorries, then becoming a chauffeur, a job he did proudly for over 21 years, which earned him a much-deserved long service award and gold watch. He then left BOC and became chauffeur to the mayor of the London Borough of Barking and Dagenham, another position which he performed to a high level of professionalism and dedication. This enabled him to drive some luxury limousines, which he kept in spotless condition, something which he maintained with his own cars. It also gave him the chance to go to Buckingham Palace each year, and to accompany the mayor to all sorts of events. I was particularly pleased that the mayor attended a pre-season football match at Dagenham in 1980, against West Ham. Both the Daggers and the Hammers had ‘won the cup’ that year, and I was invited along and could go into the boardroom where both trophies were on display.

As well as keeping cars clean enough to eat from, he had good mechanical knowledge, and I would watch him tinkering with the family car in the garage, learning from him as he changed spark plugs, water pumps, oil, and so on. When I got my first car, he rebuilt the rear wheel arch for me when it showed signs of serious rusting. After I ruined his hard work by scraping the side of the car against the fence during a tight manoeuvre, and then stormed indoors in a mood because I’d been so stupid, he calmly went about repairing it a second time.

He was also a coach driver. As a young boy I would often spend a Saturday riding with him as he picked up groups of holidaymakers at the airports, or he would sometimes drive Dagenham football team to their away matches. I never did tell him about the time I was holding a handkerchief out of the window, watching it flapping wildly in the air as we sped along, then losing concentration and letting it go, watching it fall to the roadside.

I don't recall dad being very involved with my schooling. But he and mum did attend the primary school show about the history of Rainham Junior School (which he had also attended as a boy), to see me stand up and recite my one solo line… the 5th commandment – ‘honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long in the land which the Lord giveth thee’. Preparing for those few seconds on stage made me so nervous, yet I look back with fondness that he was there to watch me say my line.

Dad seemed to keep himself to himself as we grew up, but there were times of sharing as a family, particularly on day trips to visits relatives and friends, or the annual holiday, always here to Bournemouth, sometimes with his mother, our ‘nanny at the flats’, joining us. He was often quiet, and always working around the home. Decorating, gardening, cleaning the car, he was very active and busy, and liked to keep his home and belongings in good order, tidy and organized. Even to the end, he kept a neat collection of notebooks, cataloguing the large stock of camcorder tapes and DVDs he had built up.

Occasionally we saw a different side to dad, he sometimes showed that he had a temper, but it was generally expressed through gritted teeth, and he gave me the occasional well-deserved smack. But this was rare.

He had his particular routines which shaped my view of him as we grew up. He did the football pools, and each Saturday afternoon listened to the football results, recording them on the back of the paper so he could check if he had won anything that week. I don't think he ever won on the pools, but to this day I still like to follow the results, something which I think I got from him. I don't recall him going to matches unless it was linked to his work, but he always asked me how West Ham were doing.

Dad enjoyed photography from when I was young, and we sometimes had an evening of watching his slide show of holiday snaps. It always seemed a special occasion, with the lights turned off and the projector showing the pictures against the portable white screen. As camcorders came on the scene, Dad developed his hobby of filming places he went, then editing them and adding soundtracks. As well as holiday destinations he enjoyed steam railways, and maintained a large collection of bought and home made films.

He always liked gadgets and electronic devices, cameras, camcorders, tape decks, record players, TVs, VCRs, DVDs and so on. Maybe he missed an opportunity in life to be a photographer or filmmaker… but he enjoyed his driving and the rest was his hobby. He also kept lots of personal photos of himself in the army, and at work in his driving jobs. Vanessa and I really enjoyed seeing pictures of him joining in a ‘chauffeurs tug of war’ and one with him surrounded by the carnival princesses!

When mum became ill in 2013, we saw another side to Dad… when we visited mum in hospital with him, he showed a tenderness towards her that we had not seen before. And however trying mum could be at times, Dad clearly loved her very much, as evidenced by more photos and cards we have discovered, and he silently treasured his children and grandchildren.

He nearly got to 85, passing away 6 days short of his birthday. A good age, but then he was very good for his age, until recently, when the strain of mum’s condition troubled him both mentally and physically. I speak for Vanessa and myself when I say that we now wish we’d asked him about so many more things about his life. We will always want to know more details about the things in his life that he kept quietly to himself – his army life, his work, the carnival princesses! - but in the end, we never made time to do it, and now that time has run out and for us it is too late to ask. Maybe that's how he would have wanted it.